Sitting idly by...NOT (My Sacred Life, Sunday)

I learned a few days ago that a good friend had been laid off. She was working for the same company which had laid me off in November.

When I heard about it, it made me more angry than I ever felt over my own loss of a job. Her life circumstances are much different than mine, and her length of service to the company was considerably shorter--this means that she was probably offered a pathetic separation package.

It is easy to blame my former employer, but I know that's not where the blame belongs. Just as any corporation which sees falling sales and rising expenses is doing these days, the people who run that company are trying to survive. Keeping their own jobs, of course, is the highest priority.

The sorrow I feel for the millions who have suffered the same fate as I did but were nowhere near as prepared for it, is intense and deep. And, it is really no consolation to know that the people who benefited the most from the crazy, uncontrolled financial markets of the last decade have lost more than they ever gained. The insanity which was the derivative-instrument market made up of subprime mortgages which, when piled all together, were supposed to suddenly merit a lower risk categorization than the mortgages did when originated brought down the high and mighty, but it also has brought all of us, all over the world, to a very difficult and tenuous position.

A few of those vile, greedy monsters will go to jail, and many people who were blameless in the schemes but were foolish enough to invest in them will lose their shirts. When you roll the dice, don't ever pretend to know what's going to happen. If you forget it is a wager and come to believe it is a sure thing, you will lose. It is only a matter of time.

I'm a student of history, and it is hilarious (or would be if it were not so sad) to see people make the very same mistakes that their parents or grandparents made about 80 years ago. People are easily lulled to sleep and often difficult to rouse. How else can one explain the fact that we in America re-elected in 2004 the worst president in the history of our nation? We simply weren't yet awake, as a nation, to how much damage a truly incompetent person driven only by self-interest can wreak in as short a period as four years.

Now, we know.

America has done the right thing in bringing to the presidency a man who has all the gumption and backbone so vitally needed right now. He needs all of us behind him now, because this is going to be a really tough task, this 'turn things around' challenge. No worries, those of you who don't like him. Feel free to rant all you want as the rest of us fix this mess.

My own situation is hardly dire, but it is discomfiting. I continue to do my best to honor my family through my service to them, to honor my country through my efforts in support of those who have the best shot at turning this thing around, and to honor anyone who shows up here with the words my heart sends.

I feel closer to my wife than ever, thanks in part to the greater amount of time we are able to spend with each other. I'm very grateful for her unyielding support of me as I waver some days on the brink of depression.

In the months since I was laid off, I have made some new friends thanks to the internet. Who knows if I would have found the time or lucked into their electronic worlds if I had a job?

It was a person I used to work with who got me off of dead stop when he sent me a job lead. That lead didn't pan out, but it did inspire me to get my resume all shined up and to get my butt over to the offices of the outplacement company to learn how they can help. Since then, I have only found a couple of leads which merited emailing my resume, but I am actively looking now.

While the pickings are slim, the simple act of proving I am willing to work by looking for work will be the magic key. The universe responds by giving us what we ask for as indicated by our own energy and actions. At this point, I have no idea how I will find a steady income, but I know I am telling the world that I am ready, willing, and able.

It is impossible to describe in a fashion which will allow you to fully grok what the value of the past two months has been to me. I learned that I am not my job. I learned that I can come back from what was a devastating blow--even knowing it was coming, I had no idea how hard it would hit me to separate from a job I had held for more than twenty years. I learned who my friends are--the people I used to work with who made the effort to stay in touch are just the people I would have guessed would do so.

Most importantly, I got to know myself better as I worked through the grief. My appreciation and valuation of myself is sweeter today than it ever has been because it is real and honest, not a false front put on to fool the people I meet and work with.

Some employer out there is going to get really lucky at some point soon. They will have the chance to hire me.