Bliss (My Sacred Life, Sunday)

Long ago, before the miracle named Julia came into my life, I was in a relationship which produced four amazingly strong and self-assured young ladies but also was in need of ending. So, it did. This was twelve years ago.

Later, I became involved with a lady who worked for the same company I did, although she was in California, while I was in Denver. The nature of my work puts me in touch with people all over the country. She and I talked a number of times and became friends, and more. I flew to California a couple of times to visit, and it seemed we might have our relationship develop. But, it was not to be. We remain friends to this day, I'm happy to note.

I decided to try match.com after that, and I met a woman who was intending to pull her profile from the website before I saw it, but she was out of town that weekend and did not have access to a computer. We hit it off and, for a while, it looked as if we were headed toward a long-term relationship. Then, it dawned on me that my dreams and her dreams didn't match up at all. Just that moment, Julia came into my life.

These two wonderful women played such a vital role in my life. I have to emphasize that both are great people; they helped me rise above a gone-sour relationship so that I was visible to Julia--it's a universal truth that you cannot even see those who are not vibrational equals when you are seeking a mate. I'm happy to still share life stories with one of them, once in a great long while.

While I was madly in love with the woman in California, I walked out onto the top of the 5-story parking structure attached to my office building to have a cigarette (a filthy habit long-since abandoned) one night (computer people work odd hours, and are odd [Julia would appreciate my honesty in this area and offer testimony to the truth of what I say]) and fixated on a single star which seemed to be slowly pulsating and was not white, but slightly rose-tinted.

It was as if that star was my friend in California, and it was our connection, at the same time. I'm sure I had a silly, wide grin on my face.

I looked away from the star, and as my eyes wandered, I glanced at the brick wall next to me, maybe two feet away. In that instant, the wall became a portal into which my consciousness dived. It was no longer a wall, but simply ill-defined lines which described where the wall might be, if there were one. Life had become pixilated, and nothing was anything concrete in that moment.

In that moment, I suddenly understood why saving natural space in this country was not just important, but critical. I knew why it was important in the same way one would view it important to put out a fire on your own sleeve if you touched it to a candle by accident. It's not an action of choice, but one taken of necessity...and powerful necessity!

And, it was a knowing which filled my being, not just my mind. I KNEW the truth, and I was the truth in those moments. In fact, I was no longer me...I had become everything there is, all at one time, all in an instant. There are no words which can put you there, but it is a state where it doesn't matter, not one iota, what your own little qualms are. There is no 'you' any longer, because all there is, is One...and you are it. Jill Taylor, in the video I posted yesterday, speaks of how expansive she felt herself to be. Simple: she was everything in that moment, so how the heck could she feel anything other than feeling huge and ever-expanding?

I hope at some point to hit upon the perfect analogy, the exact sequence of words, that will make clear what happened to me, but I honestly don't know that it will be soon. Suffice it to say, we will all be there one day, and I'm betting none of you will find it any easier to describe than I am finding it. The good news is, at that point, we are probably not needing to explain anything. We'll be busy trying to line up another gig back on planet Earth. It's quite the happenin' joint, despite the misguided efforts of so many slumbering souls who treat the stage so badly.

This time I write of was only three or four seconds in duration--that's a guess, as the time was infinite in the experience; I say a few seconds, but I could easily have stood there for an hour and never known what amount of time had passed. What I describe is the exact same experience you can hear about, again and again, from people all around the globe, and from all kinds of perspectives. My post yesterday pointed you to Jill Taylor's video. She experienced what I describe as a result of a stroke which took her years to recover from. My wife experienced the same thing as a result of conscious application, rewarded on a walk up a mountain as she was recovering from toxic medications given her by well-meaning physicians attempting to treat her rheumatoid arthritis. I heartily recommend reading her story, as she tells it much more effectively than I do, mine.

Bliss, then, is what I call today's offering. Bliss is not a grin so wide it extends past your ears. No. Bliss is the knowing, knowing in a way very different than knowing a math fact or the route to work, knowing in the same way you know you, knowing in a manner where there is only you. And, that's it, then. Bliss...knowing there is only you, yet it is You, and it is exactly enough.