I have a pretty substantial family here in Denver, and yet I have managed to come upon this morning, this Christmas morning, with the clear intention of being by myself (apologies to the two four-leggers who will be with me) all day.
30 years ago, I spent a Christmas by myself. I was in my room in the barracks where enlisted folks in my squadron lived at Ramstein Air Base, located in southwestern Germany. Please understand that I had plenty of invitations from my fellows, the Air Force people whose families were with them who offered to share their day with me. For reasons I still cannot articulate with any clarity, that wasn't what felt right.
What felt right that day, and what feels right today, is to be by myself and experience what the holiday offers me when there is no other influence except me and my Spirit.
I remember that day, Christmas of 1979, very well. While I was fine most of the day, I did spend a few minutes in tears as I lamented the lost celebration with my family. In those days, my guitar was central to my sense of well-being, and I played a lot that day. The building was totally vacant, so I could play as loudly as I wanted without concern for bothering anyone.
Today, I may break out Ophelia, my guitar, for the first time in a very long while. Her patience is beyond compare, and I know my touch would be awkward at first. We'll see how it goes.
Friday, December 25, 2009
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5 comments:
I had dinner with a group of (mostly) singles, my friends here. We had a marvelous time, but we talked about holidays, especially Christmas, spent alone, and we all agreed that at times, it is our preferred way to spend a holiday. I've spent a couple alone now, and find it refreshing. If you'd asked me 20 years ago about it, I would have vehemently protested that it isn't natural. I'm glad I find my own company to be pleasant. I'm glad I am comfortable where I am in my life. I get it.
Merry Christmas, Rick.
Mele Kalikimaka, a very Merry Christmas Rick!
Lyn--you hit upon key point. Christmas or any other time of the year is a tough time to be alone unless you have reached the point where you are okay with your own company, as you put it.
Thanks for stopping by, Lyn!
Rosa--how nice of you to visit on Christmas Day. I'm sure even if your family Christmas was held early that you still had plenty of activity and fun.
Merry Christmas to you both, and to all those you hold dear!
Hope you enjoyed your day, Rick!
Sphinc, my day was fine, as have been the days since. I'm gladdened to see this message from you, as I have missed you over these last many moons!
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