Sunday, March 1, 2009

Together, a sneak preview (My Sacred Life, Sunday)

In the months since I was laid off from a job I had held for more than twenty years, my Sacred Sunday posts have been rare. No accident: unless I am in a place where I can write honest, heart-inspired posts to be labeled as Sacred Sunday posts, I simply don't attempt them.

Today, I offer up my own simple and encouraging observations, and I am happy to make it a Sacred Sunday post.

It has now been more than a quarter of a year since I started being around the house a whole bunch more than I used to be. We have had a few hiccups along the way, but the over-all feeling (taking the liberty to speak for my terrifically talented and wonderfully loving wife, Julia) at this point is one of joy.

We love each other, we are each others' best friend, and we cherish our time together. No, it's not always magical or spiritual, and that's a good thing. This life is not just about enlightenment and the seeking of a higher plane. It's also about watching a soap opera together...about giggling at the antics of our dogs or the weather or the oddities of life. It can be just as bonding to enjoy a cup of coffee while we each read our choice of material in the same room as it can be to have a deep discussion.

Heck...we spend lots of our time together on separate floors of our home. In fact, we have a running joke I won't embarrass myself or my wife by describing. It involves our contacting one another using the phone (we have two lines, one for the publishing company/Julia The Author and the other as our personal line, meaning we can call each other if we tie up both phone lines).

Today's point is this: while I am not yet ready to retire from life as a corporate IT person, I am heartened to know that Julia and I have thrived during this sneak preview. At some point, and soon would be good, I will have a regular engagement which has me out of the house five days a week. We have proven to each other, though, that we will love our time together when I am done being the corporate IT guy and we live our lives together, and we determine what "all day, every day" means for us.

Remember this, my friends: it is almost never the contrived events of our lives, the scheduled honors or singing of praises which enrich our experience. is Julia calling me down in the basement, and me answering the phone, "Pete's House of Pies!" and the ensuing improvisational skit which results--that's what we will remember. Sure...we will recall our dinner at Mel's which I detailed yesterday, and we will enjoy our trips to Michigan, and (eventually, but not this year, please God!) the weddings of our daughters.

In our hearts, though, will be the simple joy we offer each other as members of a two-person tribe, a small group which speaks the same language, one we developed and improved upon over many years. I wish you all this same kind of connection, this same kind of joy, this same kind of love.


Lynilu said...

I love reading that. It is warm and reassuring. My parents were much like that, especially in the retirement years. Unfortunately, my hub and I never achieved that during 24/7 periods of our life together. I sincerely hope I find someone with whom I can share that level of comforts to live out my late life. I never give up hope.

Olivia said...

Bravo! Bravo! THIS is how marriage SHOULD be, Rick.

I laughed out loud at the picture of you two calling each other and the "Pete's House of Pies"!

You should know that it would be worth the income loss many times over for most people to get to experience this. You'll look back on this time with a smile and great fondness.

Have a Sacred Sunday,


Rick Hamrick said...

Lyn--just be you, and your hopes will move from imagined to reality. I think you already know that where you are now in your life is the richest part. I sure feel that way, and I'm in the same ballpark as you when one checks the calendar.

It is as if all those bumps and bruises along the way have made us wise...or, at least, bemused.

Bless you, my friend!

Rick Hamrick said...

O--I have to point out that we have zero respect for any "coulda shoulda woulda gotta" judgments.

And, we delight in our own version of life partnership.

It excites me for you to see this as a model which you value. All I know is, we love being in it.

We all get what we ask for, and that's neither condemnation or commendaton...just fact.

Kikipotamus said...

Thank you for sharing this. I find it is really good for a relationship if both partners have a reason to go out into the world a few times a week. Hugs, K

From This Moment to That said...

It was great to read this post, it sounds just like my husband and me. We spend every waking hour (practically) in our house or out occasionally when I can manage it, I retired through ill-health my husband took early retirement. It's just great! It's been nearly ten years now, and I can honestly say we never run out of things to say, discuss, fall about laughing etc. I feel we have been truly blessed! We too ring each other on our intercom-phone if we are each doing different things on another floor. It was great to read of others who are amongst 'the lucky ones'! :))
Happy Sunday to you from England!

Rick Hamrick said...


More importantly, love the glasses, and what a great photo of you!! You are clearly a woman in her prime, I have to say.

Rick Hamrick said...



I'm always happy to see new folks stop by, and my favorite new folks are the ones who leave some words so I know they were here.

It warms my heart to learn of the delightful relationship you and your husband share.

Thanks so much for your time and comment!

Sphincter said...

If only the House Of Pies delivered! Glad you've enjoyed the sneak preview of the life to come!

Julia Rogers Hamrick said...

What a beautiful post, Sweetie!

But lest anyone think it's all sweetness and pies around here, you need to know that every time I call the House O' Pies, they are OUT of pies!